So yay...looks like everything is coming up roses after all. FUCK YOU to the "anonymous" fucktard who imparted their sage words of advice. You are a loser. I hope that the wheels of life lock up and send you reeling one day---karma, my 'friend'...karma.
Tests came back negative and I am healthy as a horse, as it were---I don't even have as much as an increased cholesterol level...so yay me. Got a little thang brewin' in my right boob---but looks like it's nothing to worry about and day surgery will most likely happen soon.
So yeah, the world is stuck with me for at least a little while longer---and I'm happy about that. Now...the only thing I have to worry about is which super cool workout outfit I'm gonna wear to the gym...you know, so I can get all those super cool workout people looking over at me---me---me! (Actually, I wear shorts and a ratty t-shirt, courtesy of the St. Louis Cardinals et al.) Workout people love all this...
The holidays are coming up and I have much to celebrate this year! Going to Florida for Thanksgiving, and I may end up traveling north for Christmas---not sure yet---but no matter where I end up, it's going to be a great holiday season! Very excited!
Eat whatever you like, kids---whatever fills those boots of yours!
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Friday, August 16, 2013
Mortality...or Mentality?
I've lived a lot of life in my short amount of years as a human being. I've done a lot of wrong, and a lot of wrong has been done to me. I've laughed, and I've cried and everything in between---saying that I've had a colorful existence is putting things mildly, actually. In some aspects of my life I have failed horribly; and I've been blessed with many successes in my days as well. I can honestly say that my life has been nothing short of eventful, to say the least.
When we are faced with our own mortality, we tend to take an inventory of the events leading up to the exact moment when we are forced to finally accept that life does not---will not---last forever. We ask those burning questions and try to make personal amends with ourselves so that we can slip out of our earthly vessels and leave our legacy behind. Sometimes the answers to those questions become rhetorical---as if we already know the answer, but we keep spinning it and spinning it until we can feel better about the reasons why we've asked those questions in the first place. Just like when you ask the same question to many people---eventually, you are going to get the answer you are looking for, simply because you have finally found a sympathetic adviser.
They say the true character of a person is revealed when they are at their lowest; how they choose to deal with adversity will give you insight of what they are truly made of. I'd like to think that those who have been through hell and back, and who keep being bombarded with hurdles to jump over, brick walls to break through, and dump trucks full of shit that are dumped onto them deserve to wallow in the bad news that they are given. At least for a little while, anyway. No amount of little blue pills can drag someone out of the depression of knowing that their time on the earth is going to come to an end sooner than they had anticipated...though they can be a good time all the same...
Strength is a mental exercise...it is a mind set. It is something that cannot be obtained by flexing a muscle and it cannot be given as a gift by someone else. It lies within each of us. It's a mental thing. You have to want to make it through the storm. You have to need something to believe in. You can only activate it if it is there in the first place---but how does it get there in the first place? Good question, hmm? Someone has to care to show you that you have it, that you can do it, that they are not alone. Strength comes from faith---comes from self worth. Comes from a heart that is not bitter, not regretful, not vengeful.
I have much to work on.
Don't bother with the veggies, folks---it makes not one damned bit of difference in the grand scheme of things.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
What Happens When The Pet Gets Too Big For It's Britches...
Discussion between my two little lovelies this morning...Jackie: "Just who does she think she is? Sleeping and ignoring me. I'll fix her..." Pappa: "No, dude...don't do it. You know, she works so hard for us...why you gotta be a douche all the time?" Jackie: Now you can just shut the hell up, old man...before I kick your ass. Imma wake that bitch up and demand her full attention, and you can't stop me..." Pappa: Look, you little shit---you wake her up and there will be hell to pay. I'm going to sit on her face to protect her..." Jackie: "bwahahaha...go ahead, sit on her face...see what happens. She'll get mad at you for waking her up, then I'll just saunter over to her and be my cute, lovable self...so go ahead...I'll sit here and watch it all unfold..." Pappa: "Come here, you little fucker...." Jackie: "HAHAHAHAHAHA===catch me...bet you can't..." <<<Fighting at the end of my bed commences>>>
Yes, I am a pet owner. I find that the best relationships I've ever been successful at have been with my pets. I dote on them. I spoil them. I am clearly a lost cause when it comes to animals in general---I love them. I have 2 lovely cats, both rescued at some point during their lives (one as a baby, and the other as an adult)...and I have adopted them both and welcomed them into my world. "Jackie Chan", who I got when he was just a wee baby, and "Big Pappa K", who came with Jackie Chan but is a much older cat...they have been awesome---kept me company, been my sounding board, made me laugh, and reminded me that some things in life deserve unconditional love that won't ever be ignored or thrown away. They are well looked after, healthy, and happy boogers. I would be lost without them.
I must say something, however. I cannot honestly think of myself as a pet owner. It's true. The reason is simple---They own me. I am their property, and they quite know it. They decide what goes on in their world, and I am a very happy and willing participant to their whim. And the cool thing is...they show me how much they appreciate my complete and total submission to them. They are affectionate to the point of annoyance sometimes---and I love it.
Lately, both of my 'boys' have taken on a more 'humanistic' approach with dealing with me. They have dialogue with each other (I shit you not) and it is almost like the big one (Pappa) is trying to reign in the little one (Jackie). They both have very defined personalities and I have witnessed on more than one occasion the reasoning and thought process they both exude when getting themselves into trouble or more aptly when one is trying to prevent the other from getting into trouble. It is hilarious. The first paragraph of this post is, I swear to God, what they were saying to each other before Pappa came over to me and sat squarely on my head and face at 5:30 this morning---and as I peered out of my paw covered eye, my Jackie was sitting off to the side with an amused look on his face...and then Pappa jumped off my face as quick as he had sat on it, and started beating the shit out of Jackie on the end of my bed (they really tear each other up...lol)
Am I hopeless? To give a voice to my pets cracks me up---but, the voice they each have is very defined and so awesome---
They own me. I am happily at their mercy. But, that won't stop me and my sick, twisted mind to give them the dialogue I am CERTAIN they would have if they could talk like humans.
Enjoy the day---love lots and eat all of your organic veggies---you know, the ones that are not genetically fucked with. Yes---more on Monsanto in my next post.
Yes, I am a pet owner. I find that the best relationships I've ever been successful at have been with my pets. I dote on them. I spoil them. I am clearly a lost cause when it comes to animals in general---I love them. I have 2 lovely cats, both rescued at some point during their lives (one as a baby, and the other as an adult)...and I have adopted them both and welcomed them into my world. "Jackie Chan", who I got when he was just a wee baby, and "Big Pappa K", who came with Jackie Chan but is a much older cat...they have been awesome---kept me company, been my sounding board, made me laugh, and reminded me that some things in life deserve unconditional love that won't ever be ignored or thrown away. They are well looked after, healthy, and happy boogers. I would be lost without them.
I must say something, however. I cannot honestly think of myself as a pet owner. It's true. The reason is simple---They own me. I am their property, and they quite know it. They decide what goes on in their world, and I am a very happy and willing participant to their whim. And the cool thing is...they show me how much they appreciate my complete and total submission to them. They are affectionate to the point of annoyance sometimes---and I love it.
Lately, both of my 'boys' have taken on a more 'humanistic' approach with dealing with me. They have dialogue with each other (I shit you not) and it is almost like the big one (Pappa) is trying to reign in the little one (Jackie). They both have very defined personalities and I have witnessed on more than one occasion the reasoning and thought process they both exude when getting themselves into trouble or more aptly when one is trying to prevent the other from getting into trouble. It is hilarious. The first paragraph of this post is, I swear to God, what they were saying to each other before Pappa came over to me and sat squarely on my head and face at 5:30 this morning---and as I peered out of my paw covered eye, my Jackie was sitting off to the side with an amused look on his face...and then Pappa jumped off my face as quick as he had sat on it, and started beating the shit out of Jackie on the end of my bed (they really tear each other up...lol)
Am I hopeless? To give a voice to my pets cracks me up---but, the voice they each have is very defined and so awesome---
They own me. I am happily at their mercy. But, that won't stop me and my sick, twisted mind to give them the dialogue I am CERTAIN they would have if they could talk like humans.
Enjoy the day---love lots and eat all of your organic veggies---you know, the ones that are not genetically fucked with. Yes---more on Monsanto in my next post.
Monday, December 24, 2012
2012---A Retrospect
Greetings, faithful readers! Let me start by wishing you all a wonderful holiday season. I say holiday so I do not offend those who are offended by anything Christ-like. Yeah, I am totally PC these days---have to be. Dealing with the public makes the need to keep things on an even keel very important. I don't want to be pissing off the hand that feeds me...lol! With that said, I hope each of you have a prosperous and fulfilling 2013---and that you all get what you rightly deserve for the coming year.
This year has been a tumultuous one for me, filled with ups and downs and a whirlwind of activity. I have learned many things about myself and life in general during the past 12 months---many good things have come out of it and I am truly blessed for all that I have. It's funny how many a perspective can be gleaned out of a tragic event in one's life---even funnier that a person like me can gain balance and stability during a time of such self doubt and hurt. But, I am happy to say that I did, and I am a better person because of it. The guilt I have now has been systematically packed away and labeled 'insignificant for life' and stored in the appropriate closet---never to be opened again. It's not healthy to dwell on the should have's and the why didn't you's...you can't change the past and you can't look to the future if you are stuck on the things that can't be changed. Right or wrong---it works for me.
So what are the things that I've learned this year? Well---the learning curve started at the very beginning of the year---and what a lesson it was. I was so mad at myself for throwing away every last experience in my life to take on yet another example of trusting something that was too good to be true---and believing in it 100%. What was I thinking? Ugh. I beat the shit out of myself over that---until one day I just stopped abusing myself. It is what it is and was...can't change it---but I could learn from it. And learn I did. It has made me a very cynical person---I don't believe much of anything anymore---except myself. I have much faith in me and those close to me---but that's about it. I have come to the conclusion that I will die alone, with my 2 cats, in my fabulous apartment, surrounded by the life I have created for myself---and I am completely okay with that. It's not a bad thing---my capacity for hurt has reached it's limit. I do not plan on creating any opportunities for hurt to creep back into my life---and if that means being alone, then it's how it has to be. I wish no ill will on anyone who has had a part in this process---though, I have to say that every now and again I'll catch wind of one of them failing at something (the 2012 Massachusetts senatorial race comes to mind, as an example) and I giggle like a little girl. I am a firm believer that every dog has it's day---and while I am not a vengeful person, it's nice to 'see' from time to time.
The second thing I learned this year (well, not really learned---remembered is more fitting a word) is that I am talented! Yes indeed---and I haven't looked back ever since I remembered that I have something to offer. I've been really busy churning out the pages---my writing has become an intricate part of my life and I've been full steam ahead for most of the year. While I can't go into details right now---the fruits of my labor will be available very soon! I'm so excited---a lot of love has gone into this project. I can't be happier that I snapped out of my gray funk when I did. I have a lot to look forward to in the new year---and I've earned every single good thing that is coming out of it. Yay me!
Because I needed to have health insurance, I had to take on a 'real' job in March. I was very open to this, because I knew that it would be a way to get my life back in order, as well as providing me with the tools I needed in order to get healthy---mind, body, and spirit. I work as a subcontractor for a major telecommunications provider and while the job is demanding, I truly love it. I don't like all the politics that go along with the job, and trust me when I say that the company I work for has it's collective head up it's ass---I keep my mouth shut and do my job. I'm good at what I do. I am making a good salary plus really good commissions every month. I have health insurance that is actually half decent---whatever happened to HMO's? I was a big fan of the HMO back in the day...but what I have now isn't so bad. I have job security (which is more than I can say for most these days) with room for growth if I so choose.
It has also allowed me to live the way I want to live, with my own terms in play. I have a great place to live. I travel. I say how and what I will do---if and when I want to. It's weird---anyone that knows me knows that I never did 'alone' very well...I always had to be around someone or a group of someone's in order for me to be 'me'...but now, I am living alone, under my own steam. And I love every moment of it. Yeah, sometimes I get lonely---but when that happens, I just remind myself that I have consciously made that choice---and the loneliness dissipates in time. This is good for me---it has forced me to pull up my big girl panties and realize that the only person that is going to get things done for me is ME. My days of being dependent on others are O-V-E-R.
My sister has been a huge part of my life this year---if it wasn't for her, I would have been SO screwed at the beginning of the year. She let me stay with her, helped me get back onto my feet...and for that I will be eternally grateful to her. I will always be there for her---no matter what. She has epitomized for me what true family is. I am blessed.
My friends have been my saviors in so many ways this year as well. In their own ways, they have reminded me of how awesome and VERY cool I am. I think I lost some of that when I came back to the States back in 2011---and I thank my friends for giving that back to me. I was very...er, shall we say...blinded...when I came back. The blinders have been lifted. Thank fuck. I missed ME!! Thank you, my crazy/loyal/awesome slices of heaven---I look forward to any time we are together (both in person and/or online---you know who you are!).
So here I sit---it's Christmas Eve, and I have to work later on today. I have Christmas brunch to prepare for tomorrow morning. The gifts are wrapped, and the house is decorated (well, as decorated as it's going to get---I've done a bit of traveling over the last month or so---lol), and my anticipation for the holiday is higher than it's ever been before. I have much to be thankful for...and I know that the new year is going to be a great one. This year, while difficult to start, has been a very productive one. Many good things have come to me. Many realizations, many changes. I am happy. For once in my life---the choices that I have made I am happy with. WOOHOO!! Progress.
So this is my 'year in the life'---the Cliff Notes version. If you want to get the whole story---come on over (I'm off on Fridays and Sundays), I'll put on a pot of coffee and we'll chat. Oh yes...we'll chat. I have some funny stories for you. You'll laugh. I promise you will...lol I think it is so awesome that I can laugh about it all. Life is too short for bitterness and being ugly. I love my life as it is right now.
Until the next time---Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/Happy Kwanzaa/etc, etc, etc...and a ver Happy New Year! Eat all your veggies and SMILE---your life is a gift!
This year has been a tumultuous one for me, filled with ups and downs and a whirlwind of activity. I have learned many things about myself and life in general during the past 12 months---many good things have come out of it and I am truly blessed for all that I have. It's funny how many a perspective can be gleaned out of a tragic event in one's life---even funnier that a person like me can gain balance and stability during a time of such self doubt and hurt. But, I am happy to say that I did, and I am a better person because of it. The guilt I have now has been systematically packed away and labeled 'insignificant for life' and stored in the appropriate closet---never to be opened again. It's not healthy to dwell on the should have's and the why didn't you's...you can't change the past and you can't look to the future if you are stuck on the things that can't be changed. Right or wrong---it works for me.
So what are the things that I've learned this year? Well---the learning curve started at the very beginning of the year---and what a lesson it was. I was so mad at myself for throwing away every last experience in my life to take on yet another example of trusting something that was too good to be true---and believing in it 100%. What was I thinking? Ugh. I beat the shit out of myself over that---until one day I just stopped abusing myself. It is what it is and was...can't change it---but I could learn from it. And learn I did. It has made me a very cynical person---I don't believe much of anything anymore---except myself. I have much faith in me and those close to me---but that's about it. I have come to the conclusion that I will die alone, with my 2 cats, in my fabulous apartment, surrounded by the life I have created for myself---and I am completely okay with that. It's not a bad thing---my capacity for hurt has reached it's limit. I do not plan on creating any opportunities for hurt to creep back into my life---and if that means being alone, then it's how it has to be. I wish no ill will on anyone who has had a part in this process---though, I have to say that every now and again I'll catch wind of one of them failing at something (the 2012 Massachusetts senatorial race comes to mind, as an example) and I giggle like a little girl. I am a firm believer that every dog has it's day---and while I am not a vengeful person, it's nice to 'see' from time to time.
The second thing I learned this year (well, not really learned---remembered is more fitting a word) is that I am talented! Yes indeed---and I haven't looked back ever since I remembered that I have something to offer. I've been really busy churning out the pages---my writing has become an intricate part of my life and I've been full steam ahead for most of the year. While I can't go into details right now---the fruits of my labor will be available very soon! I'm so excited---a lot of love has gone into this project. I can't be happier that I snapped out of my gray funk when I did. I have a lot to look forward to in the new year---and I've earned every single good thing that is coming out of it. Yay me!
Because I needed to have health insurance, I had to take on a 'real' job in March. I was very open to this, because I knew that it would be a way to get my life back in order, as well as providing me with the tools I needed in order to get healthy---mind, body, and spirit. I work as a subcontractor for a major telecommunications provider and while the job is demanding, I truly love it. I don't like all the politics that go along with the job, and trust me when I say that the company I work for has it's collective head up it's ass---I keep my mouth shut and do my job. I'm good at what I do. I am making a good salary plus really good commissions every month. I have health insurance that is actually half decent---whatever happened to HMO's? I was a big fan of the HMO back in the day...but what I have now isn't so bad. I have job security (which is more than I can say for most these days) with room for growth if I so choose.
It has also allowed me to live the way I want to live, with my own terms in play. I have a great place to live. I travel. I say how and what I will do---if and when I want to. It's weird---anyone that knows me knows that I never did 'alone' very well...I always had to be around someone or a group of someone's in order for me to be 'me'...but now, I am living alone, under my own steam. And I love every moment of it. Yeah, sometimes I get lonely---but when that happens, I just remind myself that I have consciously made that choice---and the loneliness dissipates in time. This is good for me---it has forced me to pull up my big girl panties and realize that the only person that is going to get things done for me is ME. My days of being dependent on others are O-V-E-R.
My sister has been a huge part of my life this year---if it wasn't for her, I would have been SO screwed at the beginning of the year. She let me stay with her, helped me get back onto my feet...and for that I will be eternally grateful to her. I will always be there for her---no matter what. She has epitomized for me what true family is. I am blessed.
My friends have been my saviors in so many ways this year as well. In their own ways, they have reminded me of how awesome and VERY cool I am. I think I lost some of that when I came back to the States back in 2011---and I thank my friends for giving that back to me. I was very...er, shall we say...blinded...when I came back. The blinders have been lifted. Thank fuck. I missed ME!! Thank you, my crazy/loyal/awesome slices of heaven---I look forward to any time we are together (both in person and/or online---you know who you are!).
So here I sit---it's Christmas Eve, and I have to work later on today. I have Christmas brunch to prepare for tomorrow morning. The gifts are wrapped, and the house is decorated (well, as decorated as it's going to get---I've done a bit of traveling over the last month or so---lol), and my anticipation for the holiday is higher than it's ever been before. I have much to be thankful for...and I know that the new year is going to be a great one. This year, while difficult to start, has been a very productive one. Many good things have come to me. Many realizations, many changes. I am happy. For once in my life---the choices that I have made I am happy with. WOOHOO!! Progress.
So this is my 'year in the life'---the Cliff Notes version. If you want to get the whole story---come on over (I'm off on Fridays and Sundays), I'll put on a pot of coffee and we'll chat. Oh yes...we'll chat. I have some funny stories for you. You'll laugh. I promise you will...lol I think it is so awesome that I can laugh about it all. Life is too short for bitterness and being ugly. I love my life as it is right now.
Until the next time---Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/Happy Kwanzaa/etc, etc, etc...and a ver Happy New Year! Eat all your veggies and SMILE---your life is a gift!
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Things That Make You Go...GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE...
Happy good Sunday morning to you, faithful readers---I hope the day is treating you kind and you're enjoying this fantastically beautiful day!
I've compiled a list of things that make you scratch your head and wonder how in the hell some people can make it through a day. These are not random examples, either---oh no. These are things that I've actually come into contact with in the past week. At work. My co-workers often seek these things out for me because they LOVE my reactions (and perhaps a little of that precarious living through others that so many talk about---they don't have the balls to react OR respond so they let me do it!) and I am more than willing to provide commentary for them. I just can't pass it up---it's like RIGHT there in front of me, ya know?
So sit back and enjoy---I know I did.
1. Blind Security Guard
Okay, so this sounds ridiculous on so many levels---but yesterday I witnessed it first hand. I was sitting at my desk minding my own business getting ready for some training classes. I usually do not pay much attention to what is going on around me because I get distracted way to easily and I try to avoid becoming distracted---it takes a long time for me to refocus. But something caught my eye, and threw me completely out of my 'work zone'. I looked up from my computer screen for a moment and saw the most idiotic sight imaginable---a security guard coming out of the elevator with one of those long, white blind person's canes sweeping back and forth in front of him. A security guard. Blind. How does that work?? How does a person work as a security guard if they cannot see anything?? I took a closer look, and he even had the wonky eyes that suggests that there is no sight mechanisms in play AT ALL. I get the whole "equal opportunity employer" thing---but really? A blind security guard. How is my security being guarded if the person who is charged with this task can't even see when a fat girl walks close by him to see if he has the wonky blind person eye happening? I still do not see the reasoning there. It makes absolutely no sense at all. Maybe he just answers the phones---you know, the call for help? Maybe he dispatches the sighted security guards to go to the places that need securing. I don't know, but this has left me with a less than secure feeling.
2. A Stuttering Customer Service Representative
Where I work, customer service is as important as the job that I do. People call in to check on a multitude of issues regarding their submissions, questions about the services we provide, and complaints about how their issues have been dealt with (or not, as the case may be). Professional people demand professional responses to their issues, and do not want to deal with incompetence. Now, before I go on, I don't view a disability of ANY kind as a sign of being incompetent. I just feel that if you are doing a job, it should be done properly. Delivering excellent customer service is going to keep your clients happy and coming back for more. I was down on the 'floor' with my supervisor doing quality assessments and he had to leave me for a moment, so I was sitting at his desk waiting for him to come back. As I was waiting, I overheard a conversation between a CSR and a client (well, only the CSR's side, he was on the phone talking to a client) and imagine my surprise when the guy could not get 3 words out of his mouth without stuttering the fuck out of them...and I was like...OMG, he is talking to a client?? The more excited the CSR was getting while talking to the client, the more he stuttered. It made me giggle. When my supervisor came back, I was in full out belly laughs, complete with tears streaming down my face. He wanted to know what was so funny. I had to think quick, because I didn't know how he would respond to me saying it was because of the stuttering CSR----but I didn't have to say it because my supervisor was like..."Oh, you're laughing at Reggie, aren't you---he is here because of a human rights court case and we can't fire him. We have to let him work and talk to clients..." He went on to tell me that he and some of his co-workers often have a good 'chuckle' in the privacy of his office...and invited me back down in the evening for coffee and to listen to "Reggie" do his weekly callback to a client who always has a zillion complaints but always insists that "Reggie" call back. Perhaps the client has a group of people in HIS office listening to "Reggie" too? That would just be wrong on so many levels...right??
3. Slang
(This I posted on facebook this morning because I just had to...lol)
Ok, best Sunday Morning laugh EVER---I am being trained for a new type of article my company is providing for our clients and in the training packet, my trainer (who is about 60 years old, bless her heart) is trying to give examples of English slang and how not everyone views slang words as positive identifiers, depending on what part of the world you are in. Example, in the U.K., 'fags' are cigarettes but in the States, that is not what that slang word means, and is a derogatory descriptor for a certain group of people (she stumbled over this, it was quite funny and had to hold my laughter on a conference call---you know how hard that is? lol) So the second example that she gave was..."In Texas, people there enjoy "Country Oysters"...but not everyone likes...(and she paused and I knew this was going to be good...) BALLS. I lost it. It was so funny. So funny that my trainer nearly stroked out from laughing when she heard of our reaction to this example. My Sunday has been made complete. Thank you, Diana! You rock!! lol
Never a dull moment with me, I can tell ya---Irony---It's in the air, folks. Can you feel it? See it? It never ceases to amaze me. (the last paragraph has no irony in it at all...just a funny story...lol)
Enjoy the day, folks...eat all your veggies and keep smiling---I am!
I've compiled a list of things that make you scratch your head and wonder how in the hell some people can make it through a day. These are not random examples, either---oh no. These are things that I've actually come into contact with in the past week. At work. My co-workers often seek these things out for me because they LOVE my reactions (and perhaps a little of that precarious living through others that so many talk about---they don't have the balls to react OR respond so they let me do it!) and I am more than willing to provide commentary for them. I just can't pass it up---it's like RIGHT there in front of me, ya know?
So sit back and enjoy---I know I did.
1. Blind Security Guard
Okay, so this sounds ridiculous on so many levels---but yesterday I witnessed it first hand. I was sitting at my desk minding my own business getting ready for some training classes. I usually do not pay much attention to what is going on around me because I get distracted way to easily and I try to avoid becoming distracted---it takes a long time for me to refocus. But something caught my eye, and threw me completely out of my 'work zone'. I looked up from my computer screen for a moment and saw the most idiotic sight imaginable---a security guard coming out of the elevator with one of those long, white blind person's canes sweeping back and forth in front of him. A security guard. Blind. How does that work?? How does a person work as a security guard if they cannot see anything?? I took a closer look, and he even had the wonky eyes that suggests that there is no sight mechanisms in play AT ALL. I get the whole "equal opportunity employer" thing---but really? A blind security guard. How is my security being guarded if the person who is charged with this task can't even see when a fat girl walks close by him to see if he has the wonky blind person eye happening? I still do not see the reasoning there. It makes absolutely no sense at all. Maybe he just answers the phones---you know, the call for help? Maybe he dispatches the sighted security guards to go to the places that need securing. I don't know, but this has left me with a less than secure feeling.
2. A Stuttering Customer Service Representative
Where I work, customer service is as important as the job that I do. People call in to check on a multitude of issues regarding their submissions, questions about the services we provide, and complaints about how their issues have been dealt with (or not, as the case may be). Professional people demand professional responses to their issues, and do not want to deal with incompetence. Now, before I go on, I don't view a disability of ANY kind as a sign of being incompetent. I just feel that if you are doing a job, it should be done properly. Delivering excellent customer service is going to keep your clients happy and coming back for more. I was down on the 'floor' with my supervisor doing quality assessments and he had to leave me for a moment, so I was sitting at his desk waiting for him to come back. As I was waiting, I overheard a conversation between a CSR and a client (well, only the CSR's side, he was on the phone talking to a client) and imagine my surprise when the guy could not get 3 words out of his mouth without stuttering the fuck out of them...and I was like...OMG, he is talking to a client?? The more excited the CSR was getting while talking to the client, the more he stuttered. It made me giggle. When my supervisor came back, I was in full out belly laughs, complete with tears streaming down my face. He wanted to know what was so funny. I had to think quick, because I didn't know how he would respond to me saying it was because of the stuttering CSR----but I didn't have to say it because my supervisor was like..."Oh, you're laughing at Reggie, aren't you---he is here because of a human rights court case and we can't fire him. We have to let him work and talk to clients..." He went on to tell me that he and some of his co-workers often have a good 'chuckle' in the privacy of his office...and invited me back down in the evening for coffee and to listen to "Reggie" do his weekly callback to a client who always has a zillion complaints but always insists that "Reggie" call back. Perhaps the client has a group of people in HIS office listening to "Reggie" too? That would just be wrong on so many levels...right??
3. Slang
(This I posted on facebook this morning because I just had to...lol)
Ok, best Sunday Morning laugh EVER---I am being trained for a new type of article my company is providing for our clients and in the training packet, my trainer (who is about 60 years old, bless her heart) is trying to give examples of English slang and how not everyone views slang words as positive identifiers, depending on what part of the world you are in. Example, in the U.K., 'fags' are cigarettes but in the States, that is not what that slang word means, and is a derogatory descriptor for a certain group of people (she stumbled over this, it was quite funny and had to hold my laughter on a conference call---you know how hard that is? lol) So the second example that she gave was..."In Texas, people there enjoy "Country Oysters"...but not everyone likes...(and she paused and I knew this was going to be good...) BALLS. I lost it. It was so funny. So funny that my trainer nearly stroked out from laughing when she heard of our reaction to this example. My Sunday has been made complete. Thank you, Diana! You rock!! lol
Never a dull moment with me, I can tell ya---Irony---It's in the air, folks. Can you feel it? See it? It never ceases to amaze me. (the last paragraph has no irony in it at all...just a funny story...lol)
Enjoy the day, folks...eat all your veggies and keep smiling---I am!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Why I'm Taking My Ball And Going Home...
Dear Canada,
You began as a faithful friend, a refuge, a warm smile in a sea of frowns. Our relationship started innocent enough, and you welcomed me with open arms. Oh, your beautiful landscapes and gentle people embraced me with a sense of belonging, a sense of home. You lulled me into such a sweet state of euphoria, one that I thought I would never, ever experience anywhere else in the world (and sister, I've been around!).
You healed my wounds, taught me how to be a better person, showed me an easier, kinder way to live. I was able to recognize my faults, my shortcomings, my idiosyncrasies that set me apart from the rest---I was able to stop, take stock, readjust, and regain my sense of self. You have shown me what it means to forgive, (but never forget...I'll never forget), forge on...and see myself as the wonderful, beautiful person I knew was there but who got lost in the shuffle.
Ok. Enough of the warm and fuzzies---AGREED, Canada did what it had to do, at a time when I needed SOMETHING to be done. No disputing this fact. But Canada, why hath you forsaken me now? YOU SUCK. I mean that with all my heart. You want the world to see you as a kinder, more gentle place to live...but in all actuality, you are no better than any other fairly developed country in the world. Greed, power, and the people to back it all up. You have let me down in so many ways---hypocrisy and deceit---very powerful words, yet so simple to use when describing what you really are.
Within your beauty, you have some very wonderful people who will always reside here. Some will leave, most will stay---but, at the end of the day, these are the people who I will always remember, with fond recollections of the fucked up lives we all had. Some of you will learn and get out before its too late. Some will remain hopelessly fucked up. It is because of you all that I was able to bring some sense into my own life; whether it was because of your foolishness or your own example. Either way, my life has been better because you have all been in it. I will always remember you.
Some of you I will continue to communicate with, but most of you will become small jewels of my memory. This is certainly by design, and not by circumstance. I think that the superficiality of some of the friendships I have had during my sentence...err..I mean time here in Canada bring me back to a place where I was not good, I was not healthy, I was not ME. I can only hope that our interlude has brightened your lives in some small way, and that you too will file me away as a good memory.
For those of you who I will remain in touch with---and I hope you know who you are at this point (because I'm not gonna start namin' names) please be patient with me. I am in a redirection phase of my life, new beginnings, new experiences, and new interests. Rekindling family ties, nurturing old friendships, and embarking on the most profound, life changing relationship with my past...I need time to settle, I will definitely need time to take a breath and realize my new surroundings. This is much more than just a job opportunity---I am coming home, after being away for so long. I do promise to let you all know how I am and what I'm doing---I love you all for reasons you all know.
Canada, I am not going to be sad to say goodbye to you. I do thank you for the abundance of life experience you have given me. Thank you for giving me space to heal. But---I bid you adieu.
I'm going to be smiling...and I will continue to eat all my veggies. Please be well and good luck with your lives. Hopefully, Canada, you will learn a thing or two from the people who are still here, who think you're all that and then some...I'll be keeping tabs on you, periodically checking in on you---we'll see. Prove me wrong, prove me right---the issue is a moot one, I suppose. Take care of the reasons why I will remember you.
You began as a faithful friend, a refuge, a warm smile in a sea of frowns. Our relationship started innocent enough, and you welcomed me with open arms. Oh, your beautiful landscapes and gentle people embraced me with a sense of belonging, a sense of home. You lulled me into such a sweet state of euphoria, one that I thought I would never, ever experience anywhere else in the world (and sister, I've been around!).
You healed my wounds, taught me how to be a better person, showed me an easier, kinder way to live. I was able to recognize my faults, my shortcomings, my idiosyncrasies that set me apart from the rest---I was able to stop, take stock, readjust, and regain my sense of self. You have shown me what it means to forgive, (but never forget...I'll never forget), forge on...and see myself as the wonderful, beautiful person I knew was there but who got lost in the shuffle.
Ok. Enough of the warm and fuzzies---AGREED, Canada did what it had to do, at a time when I needed SOMETHING to be done. No disputing this fact. But Canada, why hath you forsaken me now? YOU SUCK. I mean that with all my heart. You want the world to see you as a kinder, more gentle place to live...but in all actuality, you are no better than any other fairly developed country in the world. Greed, power, and the people to back it all up. You have let me down in so many ways---hypocrisy and deceit---very powerful words, yet so simple to use when describing what you really are.
Within your beauty, you have some very wonderful people who will always reside here. Some will leave, most will stay---but, at the end of the day, these are the people who I will always remember, with fond recollections of the fucked up lives we all had. Some of you will learn and get out before its too late. Some will remain hopelessly fucked up. It is because of you all that I was able to bring some sense into my own life; whether it was because of your foolishness or your own example. Either way, my life has been better because you have all been in it. I will always remember you.
Some of you I will continue to communicate with, but most of you will become small jewels of my memory. This is certainly by design, and not by circumstance. I think that the superficiality of some of the friendships I have had during my sentence...err..I mean time here in Canada bring me back to a place where I was not good, I was not healthy, I was not ME. I can only hope that our interlude has brightened your lives in some small way, and that you too will file me away as a good memory.
For those of you who I will remain in touch with---and I hope you know who you are at this point (because I'm not gonna start namin' names) please be patient with me. I am in a redirection phase of my life, new beginnings, new experiences, and new interests. Rekindling family ties, nurturing old friendships, and embarking on the most profound, life changing relationship with my past...I need time to settle, I will definitely need time to take a breath and realize my new surroundings. This is much more than just a job opportunity---I am coming home, after being away for so long. I do promise to let you all know how I am and what I'm doing---I love you all for reasons you all know.
Canada, I am not going to be sad to say goodbye to you. I do thank you for the abundance of life experience you have given me. Thank you for giving me space to heal. But---I bid you adieu.
I'm going to be smiling...and I will continue to eat all my veggies. Please be well and good luck with your lives. Hopefully, Canada, you will learn a thing or two from the people who are still here, who think you're all that and then some...I'll be keeping tabs on you, periodically checking in on you---we'll see. Prove me wrong, prove me right---the issue is a moot one, I suppose. Take care of the reasons why I will remember you.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
The Past, And How It Bites...
They say that the future is what you make of it; there is no cosmic direction to it. I used to believe that there was this big huge book written that mysteriously contained the destiny of every person born into this cesspool of a world. Somehow, my idea of that got jaded by the reality I am faced to live every day. The big, brave me has figured out that if you want something to happen bad enough, you have to make it happen for yourself. Throw caution to the wind, take a chance, go after what you want to have. Relying on a fantastic book of fate to point you into the right direction is a fool's game; one that is played when you can't face your own being.
It sucks when you loose these fanciful ideas; the scapegoat for your inevitable direction has crashed and burned. No more can you blame 'the stars and their placement in the sky' for the path you take. Which is a stone bitch, because I'd like to lay blame on it---oh boy would I ever. I am mad. My choices, up to this point, have been just that...mine. But oh, how I would like to rewind a few decades. The screw-ups. The pain. The loss. The 'what would have been'. Erase them all, do it all over. New slate. Knowing what I know right at this moment. This moment---a moment can be measured in many ways---but they are all fleeting, unless you grab onto it, hold it tight, and NEVER let go of it.
The days of squandering the moments that are presented to me are over. The days of hinging everything on the moments I had no control over---those are over too. I'll tell you why. (You knew I was gonna say it...stop groaning!)
I have a new found respect for the future that I am making for myself. An old friend has been instrumental in this revelation. This old friend---made me realize some things. Life is short, grab onto the reigns and hold on tight---no regrets, no apologies. Make your moment. If you want it, work for it, hurt for it, make it happen. If wishes were horses, then beggars could ride---ever see a homeless guy bareback on a horse? Yeah, me either. Wishing and hoping get you nowhere. Grab the moment, and hold onto it. Build your future using the wisdom you have accumulated from the past...that is the only good thing that comes from dwelling on the past---a learning tool.
Until the next time---eat all of your veggies and smile. Smile a lot.
It sucks when you loose these fanciful ideas; the scapegoat for your inevitable direction has crashed and burned. No more can you blame 'the stars and their placement in the sky' for the path you take. Which is a stone bitch, because I'd like to lay blame on it---oh boy would I ever. I am mad. My choices, up to this point, have been just that...mine. But oh, how I would like to rewind a few decades. The screw-ups. The pain. The loss. The 'what would have been'. Erase them all, do it all over. New slate. Knowing what I know right at this moment. This moment---a moment can be measured in many ways---but they are all fleeting, unless you grab onto it, hold it tight, and NEVER let go of it.
The days of squandering the moments that are presented to me are over. The days of hinging everything on the moments I had no control over---those are over too. I'll tell you why. (You knew I was gonna say it...stop groaning!)
I have a new found respect for the future that I am making for myself. An old friend has been instrumental in this revelation. This old friend---made me realize some things. Life is short, grab onto the reigns and hold on tight---no regrets, no apologies. Make your moment. If you want it, work for it, hurt for it, make it happen. If wishes were horses, then beggars could ride---ever see a homeless guy bareback on a horse? Yeah, me either. Wishing and hoping get you nowhere. Grab the moment, and hold onto it. Build your future using the wisdom you have accumulated from the past...that is the only good thing that comes from dwelling on the past---a learning tool.
Until the next time---eat all of your veggies and smile. Smile a lot.
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